Today is one of those special days in my life. It marks my 34 years of existence in this transient & perhaps ephemeral phase of life on earth. It’s really amazing to see how far I have come and also more intrepid to think of the journey that lies ahead.
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them, a son of man that you care for him.” Hebrews 2:6
Indeed, God has been gracious and kind in all the years of my life. I may not have used all my time as wisely as I should; I may not have followed wholeheartedly as many pioneers before me did but God was there, is still there and am very much a large part of my life. It has been a challenge to lead a disciplined life and it will continue to be a challenge ahead but it does not negate the fact that GOD is and will continue to be faithful till my end. There are days when life feels really mundane and routine. Yet, when I look back on my life thus far – it may not be a great story like David, or Solomon or Jesus – the hand of God is always there moulding me & giving me the opportunity for growth. Who I am today, is largely due to the milestones in my life. It is only befitting that as I lapse into a time of reflection and recalling to put into writing the 3 major milestones in my life (though there may be many, but I guess there are 3 major influences that really made me who I am). They are in a large part how God uses people around me and my circumstances to influence my philosophy, thought and personality.
1) My involvement in Youth For Christ (YFC).
I really have to be thankful to all the friends, mentors, leaders and people in YFC. That’s my first introduction to what ministry work is all about. It is also the point where I was confronted with the hard truths that serving God demands my all – all of my time, my life, my brains and my energies. In YFC, that’s where I learnt the cost of discipleship. More than that, through the countless hours put into studying the Word of God, my mental faculties were developed. I learnt that there is depth in the Word of God and it takes hardwork and diligence to see His Word in context. It was also in my formative years in YFC, where I learnt to run events, organise camps and learn through failures. It was really cutting edge to learn through experiential experiences – though I think it wasn’t quite a catchphrase then. Indeed, for the people who put in the time for me – I am so thankful. Because of your faithful service to the Lord, because you spent time with me in studying the Word of God, in teaching me leadership principles – I am what I am today. Without my involvement in YFC, I would not have the acumen and sense to make sense of my place in this world. I would not know how to teach my students what being a leader actually means.
2) The church that I am in (CEFC)
The church that I am in for the past 17 years also contribute largely to my biblical philosophy and beliefs. Being in the church for so long, and having grown up in the church – I see how the pastors led in the church and how the various ones grew in their pulpit ministry. More importantly, I learnt from the pastors what sound exposition is and I continue to imbue myself with deep, insightful teaching of the Word of God. It is through CEFC where I learnt how to communicate with all sincerity and humour. It is through the pulpit ministry where I learnt effective communication. It is also in the church through Pastor Edmund – I learnt how to ride the tension – and follow the call to a balanced position. Indeed, I cannot neglect that strong influence growing up in the church has on me. If I were in another church, I believe I would be a very different person, with a different perspective to things. Yet, because I am in a word-centred church, the tension to hold fast to the truth and call to live a substantial life remains a very real reality and challenge in my life – up till today. Thanks to the pastors, I see what leadership in leading in an organisation is all about. Thanks to the pastors, I see the grace and shrewdness needed to traverse the challenges of this world.
3) The job that I have
Teaching isn’t my first job. It is my 2nd. I remembered how because of my lack of experience in acing that interview, I didn’t quite make it the first round. Yet, that is not a bad thing because having worked in the corporate sector for a while, I came to the conclusion that no job is easy. Though teaching is a tough job, I no longer sees it as a job. It is my ministry – one that I go up and about everyday, without seeing myself as going to work. It has become part of me, a very large part indeed and if it is taken away, I would feel quite strange altogether. This, is another major milestone in my life because it is in teaching where I find my calling and passion. It is the area where I find most satisfaction and fulfilment in – a testing ground where my personality, patience and skills are tested. More importantly, it is a battleground where lives are either won or lost – through our interaction with them. Having been on the job for 6 years (my longest, and quite a surprise for one who is always restless), I see God’s hand in growing me into maturity. There are days when I really felt lousy and wanted to quit – yet God thought me the meaning of holding on and persevering. It is here – where my patience is tested; It is here – where all that I have learnt in my formative years are put into practice; it is here – where I continue to seek the next milestone in my life. Yet for all the successes in my job, I know, deep inside my heart, without God there can be no real sense of fulfilment and meaning to life.
As I count my blessings and look forward with anticipation to the next (34 years?) lap of my life … I am reminded that there are many more milestones yet to come. Life is one where choices are made – and the choices determine how my life would unfold in days to come. I certainly won’t know what will happen and I can’t foretell the future. Yet, I know that I have to trust my life in the hands of the One who has cared for me in ages past and in the age to come.
It is only right that I learn to yield my restless, stubborn and wilful spirit into the hands of the loving, sovereign and Almighty God. As I grow older, I want to constantly remind myself that without Him, there is no meaning to my short and meaningless life. It is only in Him, the signposts along the way makes great sense and purpose in my life.
All glory to God,
31 Jan 2011
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